


Untitled

by immortalje



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Canonical Character Death, POV First Person, implied past re
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-05-26
Updated: 2001-05-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:59:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalje/pseuds/immortalje
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam grieves after Martouf/Lantash died, 1st POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Sam or any other person in the fic (not that I can remember mentioning another person)
> 
> Spoilers: Divide and Conquer
> 
> Category: thoughts, 1st POV
> 
> Notes: I haven't seen D&C yet, but I read enough about it and Ghani said it would fit. Other than that I wrote this one on the trip back to Germany and it isn't beta read so far.
> 
> This was first posted at [ff.net](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/294815/1/untitled)

Now I'm lying here in my bed. I have no clue what I'm about to do next. I wait for life to go on. Although I don't want it to go on. I want to turn back the time and safe him.

Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't it have been me? Why didn't anybody test him? Why? Why? Why? That brings nothing. He's dead! Forever! And I can't change it. Oh how I wish I could. The only thing I'm thinking about is something we -I- could have done different. Something that would have saved his life.

I could have said the truth earlier. Then there would have been time enough to test him. If, if, if,.... all things we could have done but didn't. It's all my fault that he's dead. That I had to shoot him. Why did I shoot him at all? How could I? God how I miss him. His smile, his voice, every little detail that made him so special. And I'm not able to see or hear it any more. What have I done?

I didn't think that I could cry more. I thought that ever single tear was cried out. But now I'm starting all over again. I cry myself to sleep. Just like the days before. Not wanting to live any longer with all the guilt and loss.


End file.
